So You’ve Just Found Out You’re Autistic—Now What?
Welcome to the Next Chapter
Discovering you're autistic later in life can feel like everything shifts at once—and nothing at all. You’re still you… but the framework through which you see your life starts to change. Whether it was a now it all makes sense realisation that put your life into perspective and sparked a sense of relief or a sudden flood of conflicting emotions, it’s completely normal to feel a mix of hope, excitement, uncertainty and even grief.
You may find yourself asking, What now?
It’s a big question. And though there isn’t a one-size-fits-all answer, there is an incredible opportunity to reframe your life, understand yourself better, and start advocating for what you need—on your terms.
This blog is here to walk alongside you in those early days after discovery, offering perspective, validation, and community. From the emotional rollercoaster of self-discovery to the practical steps you can take to build a more supportive environment. Whether you’re looking for clarity or simply need validation, know that this journey is yours to navigate, and you’re not alone.
Let’s dive into what comes next in this exciting new chapter of your life.
The Clarity That Changes Everything
Discovering you’re Autistic—whether through a formal diagnosis or self discovery and identification—can be life-changing. Suddenly, the 'weirdness' or 'too much-ness' you were made to feel are viewed in a new light.
But with clarity often comes a wave of questions:
Why didn’t I know sooner? What do I do with this knowledge now? Why does it feel like everything's suddenly shifting?
As memories resurface you might start revisiting moments from school, work, or family life, realising how often you were masking, misunderstood, or punished for things now seen as normal traits for your neurotype—not faults. For many, it feels like coming home to yourself. A long-awaited understanding that reframes everything.
This retrospective awareness can be validating—but it can also bring waves of anger and grief. There is no right pace for processing this. You’re allowed to feel it all.
This emotional recalibration is completely normal. You’re not doing it wrong. You’re processing a lifetime through a whole new lens—and that takes time.
Relationships, Community & Reclaiming Your Story
After diagnosis, relationships often become a key focus. You may start noticing which dynamics feel safe, which don’t—and who is willing to learn alongside you.
Some people in your life may not understand Autism beyond media stereotypes. Misunderstandings can sting, and while it shouldn’t be your job to educate others, many of us find ourselves doing just that.
Your autistic experience spans your entire lifetime—and for those of us discovering this identity in our 20s, 30s, 40s and beyond, it’s okay if you can’t simplify your life into a neat answer to “What is Autism?”. Your story isn’t too late. It isn’t too complicated. And it absolutely deserves space.
That’s why finding neurodivergent community can be transformative. Whether it’s an online group, a local event, or connecting with Autistic creators—community can be the difference between surviving and thriving.
MAKES SENSE TO ME is a community too. We’d love to hear your story of late-diagnosed ASD or autistic self-discovery in the comments below. Your words might just be the validation someone else is looking for.
💡 Remember:
✅ You don’t owe disclosure to anyone.
✅ Your journey is yours, and it doesn’t have to be fast, loud or public.
✅ You’re allowed to just be with your new understanding before doing anything with it.
Masking, Imposter Syndrome & The Pressure to “Prove It”
Many late-identified Autistic people carry deep-rooted self-doubt:
Am I really Autistic? What if the diagnosis was wrong? What if people don’t believe me?
This is imposter syndrome—and it’s so common that it’s almost a rite of passage. Years (or decades) of masking—suppressing your natural instincts to fit into a neurotypical world—can make it hard to uncover the side of yourself you were wrongfully taught did not belong.
But here’s the truth:
🚫 You don’t need to “look” or “act” Autistic enough.
🌈 There is no one way to be Autistic.
🥰 If you’re here, trying to understand yourself better, that’s already valid.
Research and perceptions of Autism have often been rooted in ableism, shaped by a desire to cure Autistic people or use systems like ABA (Applied Behavior Analysis) to suppress Autistic traits. It’s no wonder that some Autistic individuals doubt their identity when they first start learning about what being Autistic truly means. If we’re all taught—professionals, doctors, neurodivergent (ND), neurotypical (NT), Autistic and allistic alike—misinformation based on a profile of mostly white boys, it’s no surprise there will be cognitive dissonance when an individual’s lived experience doesn’t align with that narrow, stereotypical view of what it means to be Autistic.
It’s time to move away from the narrative that Autistic people mask and, therefore, it’s their fault they were overlooked or late-diagnosed. In truth, this is a reflection of societal misperceptions, the stigmas surrounding Autism and Neurodiversity and a natural coping mechanism that often masks an individual’s true self in order to survive in an NT world.
Practical Support & Holding Space for Yourself
Whether you pursue formal supports, accommodations or just more self-compassion—every step forward is valid.
Some things you might consider:
🔍 Learn about Autistic experiences, not just Autism research. There is always a person with a story behind those stats.
📚💬Join ND-led spaces to connect with people who get it.
🤔 Explore therapy, especially with a neuro-affirming therapist to process grief, major life event of late-discovery and support navigating the medical system.
🪞 Reflect on what you've been masking—and what you might reclaim as natural healthy emotional regulation and accommodations.
And let’s be clear: support and accommodations aren't weaknesses. They are tools that help you live fully—and human needs we all can benefit from.
Disclosure, Boundaries & Managing Reactions
Deciding whether (and how) to tell others you’re Autistic is personal. Reactions can be mixed—and that’s not a reflection of your truth.
Here’s how to prepare:
📱 Have easy-to-understand info to share, like IG infographics (to save your energy!)
⁉️ Prepare for unhelpful comments—and know you don’t have to entertain them.
🤗 Prioritise disclosing to those who’ve earned your vulnerability.
🌅 Protect your peace—set boundaries around tough conversations.
Example:
“I've learned I'm autistic, this was a significant revelation for me. I don't want to discuss the theory of Autism right now but if you are unsure what Autism is I can recommend a bookshop with loads of resources on it. Right now, I want you to celebrate this news with me."
At work, disclosure can open doors to legal protections and reasonable adjustments through schemes like Access To Work—but only if you feel ready. Know your rights before you disclose.
It’s Okay to Have Mixed Feelings
Elation. Sadness. Grief. Relief. Anger. Gratitude.
You might feel them all—sometimes within minutes.
There is no wrong way to feel about discovering you’re Autistic. Every feeling is valid. Every response is human. You’ve lived your whole life missing the knowledge, understanding and acceptance of a key part of you. Now you get to choose how you use it.
If you’re struggling, that doesn’t mean you’re failing. It means you’re processing. And you deserve support while you do.
What Now? Keep Going.
This isn’t the end of your story—it’s a reintroduction to yourself.
You might like to begin by:
📚 Reading books by Autistic authors (we’ve curated a list just for you)
💞 Following neurodivergent creators who make you feel seen
🎓 Taking a course or workshop to deepen your understanding
🥰 Giving yourself permission to rest and simply be
However you do it, know this:
✨ You’re not broken. You’re not late. You’re exactly where you’re meant to be.
